The Power of Self-Talk

Be mindful of your self-talk. It’s a conversation with the Universe - David James Lees

Our language determines our attitude and our attitude determines our language. It’s a powerful cycle, one which elevates our mood and mindset. When we watch our language with others, and more importantly, our selves, we create a vibration in which we move into. The question is: what language are you using?

We create mental chatter all day. We are often unaware of it, but the effects are cumulative and influential in how we see the world and ourselves. When we lead with negative self-talk, we are subconsciously influencing ourselves and our results. When we berate ourselves or talk down to ourselves, we begin to reinforce a negative mindset, and with that, results that fall in line with mindset.

Your language and self-talk also create emotional states within. How you talk to yourself can create a mood which can either be beneficial or discouraging. In choosing how we create our inner landscape of self-talk is purely up to us. We get to choose how we have that dialogue within.

When we sit with negative self-talk, we create a snowball effect of destructive statements which lead us to deeper and darker thoughts. We can start out with “I’m an idiot! I shouldn’t have blurted that out!” and easily fall into “I can never say the right thing. No wonder nobody wants to be my friend. What’s the point of even trying?” It deteriorates quickly.

The words we choose make a huge impact in how we look at ourselves and how we show up in the world. Speaking to ourselves in a kind and loving manner, as we would to a dear friend or family member, is a big step towards a more positive mindset. In a 2014 study, it was shown that shifting from the “I” or “me” words to the third person “he” or “she” (or better yet, using your first name), creates a self-distance and a space of compassion.

In using our first name when talking to ourselves, we form a space of introspection that enhances self-regulation. And that changes how we feel and behave. Also, add into that supportive language, we position ourselves to show kindness to ourselves and to create a positive mood, one where we aren’t punishing or putting down. Creating that affirmative mindset allows us to show up with a different energy.

The best way to build the positive self-talk is to first catch yourself when you come at yourself with a negative tone. At that moment, create a more encouraging and uplifting response. Use your own name when doing this as well. For example: “I will never lose weight. I’m going to be a fat blob the rest of my life,” can be turned into “Paul, you got this. You’ve lost weight before and you can do it again. You’ll fit into that new suit before you know it!”

It may take some time to get into the habit of creating a healthy inner monologue, but the benefits are worth the effort. It’s a powerful way to increase self-esteem and positive energy levels. We give ourselves the gift of an encouraging framework in which to better ourselves and show up in a strong way. We have no problems being kind towards others - let’s do the same to that wonderful person in the mirror!

Paul Silva

I am a life and personal development coach.